Tag: journey

Blogmas Day 7: It’s my birthday ðŸŽ‚

Published on by NAWatermanLeave a comment

Happy birthday to me 🥳.  It was important to me to get back to being me.  I set a goal to be back at a certain weight by my birthday and I’m so proud of myself that I did it! Yay me!

St. Croix USVI

After my dad passed away, I began to comfort eat and gained about 20 pounds.  Many people said the extra weight looked good on me, but I personally did not feel comfortable.  When I got engaged, I lost 15 pounds by the time I got married.  I actually felt comfortable even with the still extra 5 pounds.  Then our fur baby passed away over a year ago and I became sad again, amongst other things.  I gained back the 10 pounds.  I really became unhappy with my body.  This was the heaviest I ever been in my life.  I was lonely in the house, as there was no more Wally.  My husband was working those long shifts as a nurse.  So all I did was work.  And my commute to work was long and stressful. By the time I arrived home, the first thing I would do is get a snack because I was starving.  I would eat late because I wanted to eat dinner with my husband.


So my husband hearing me complain about my weight suggested I rejoin the gym mainly to get out of the house. I did and that started my journey back to becoming me again…
Btw, this is definitely a new me.  I would have never posted a picture of myself in a bikini.  Another… Yay Me!

Missing You!

Published on by NAWatermanLeave a comment

On this day 4 years ago at 6:32pm, I sat next to my dad’s hospital bed as he took his last breath.  It was a surreal moment…something that will never leave my mind.  I was in complete shock, as I never expected that to happen.  I will never get over that moment.  It’s something that I relive in my head all of the time.  And after 4 years, I  still haven’t really grieved.  I think I just keep it bottled up in me.  It’s almost as if I’m in denial and don’t want to face the obvious reality. 

There are literally times where I wonder if he’s really gone.  He literally did not look like himself when he passed.  According to the funeral home, we had to do a close casket because he didn’t look  good enough for a viewing.  So I’m literally driving myself crazy with all these thoughts in my head.  I know my dad would want me to move on and be happy, but how can I fully be happy when a big piece of my heart is missing???  Grief is a beast…

And P.S. I know I said literally so many times.  My dad use to tease me about that.  I literally said it all the time.  Lol.

There was a leak in our main bathroom a couple of weeks ago and we had to call a plumber.  The first thing I said to my brother was that our dad would have been able to detect the leak and fix it himself.  My dad was the go to for everything in my life.  Anything that went wrong with my house or car, he was the first person I would call.  I would not make a major purchase without getting his advice first.  Anyway…

They say everything happens for a reason.  I’m still trying to figure this one out. 

Love you daddy.  I literally miss you every single day.  Not a day goes by that you’re not on my mind.

When It’s time to Let Go…

Published on by NAWatermanLeave a comment

Life takes you in so many different directions, but the one stability you can always count on is family?  But is that really true?  What happens when the people you love and sacrifice for turns out to be your worst enemy? 

Let’s be clear, when I say family, I’m not talking about those family members that you don’t have a relationship with.  Not those family members you see only during family occasions.  I’m talking about those family members that you grew up with.  The ones that you talk to all the time. The ones you would drop everything for just to do things to please them. You would give them your last dollar or your last plate of food if you had to.  You get the gist…

What happens when you finally realize that these family members are self-absorbed?  Your happiness means absolutely nothing to them.  They are only concerned about their own.  But all your life, you’ve done nothing but try to please them and get their love.  Then, as you get older and want some happiness in your life, they start badmouthing you.  You go through the motions and try to overlook it…

My question is, when is enough… enough?  When do you finally say you’re done? Do you confront the person or persons?  Or do you just walk away?

Food for thought…